Adele Tells Bowie Producer To ‘Suck My D*ck’ After He Throws Shade

There are many things you shouldn’t do in life. Robbery, murder, and agreeing with Donald Trump’s tweets are just a selection of activities that you should definitely avoid. Well guess what, you can now add accusing Adele of using vocal manipulation in her recordings to that list.

In case you were wondering, she will tell you to “suck her d*ck”.

(If you listen real close you can hear her say it, over the devout fans who travelled all the way from Israel).

This revelation is all thanks to David Bowie’s long-time producer Tony Visconti. Speaking with the British tabloid newspaper Daily Star. Visconti expressed dissatisfaction with current pop music saying that, “there is a sound to pop now that’s so perfect, it’s boring because everything is fixed”. Apparently his disillusionment with pop is so strong, he has decided to join UK reality TV show ‘Guitar Star’.

Visconti didn’t stop his criticism at pop in general however. He further elaborated, and like every Greek tragedy, brought about his own downfall with a somewhat accusatory statement directed at England’s other queen, Adele.

“You turn the radio on and it’s fluff, you are listening to 90% computerised voices. We know Adele has a great voice but it’s even questionable if that is actually her voice or how much has been manipulated. We don’t know.”

This was probably not a good idea, given that Adele has a rather fascinating history with yelling at people who piss her off. Also, because she’s a proper trained vocalist who is amazing live, so vocal manipulation is pretty unlikely, but whatever.

Adele responded to the criticism on stage during her current European tour saying, “some d*ckhead…tried to say that my voice was not me on record. Dude, suck my d*ck.” This does give a great opportunity for her to really send the message home and rewrite a few of her tracks. She could give a couple of these a go:

“Hello, it’s me. I was wondering if after all these years you’d like to SUCK MY DICK.”

“You could have had it all, but you can SUCK MY DIIIIIICK”

“But I set fire to the rain, watched it pour as you SUCK MY DICK”

Poetic.

Honestly, if you’re going to go slagging off Adele it’s a good idea to remember that this is the same lady who briefly stopped her own show to watch the football, and scolded a lady like a disappointed mum for not enjoying a concert with her eyeballs instead of her phone. The lesson here is the next time you think about scolding pop music perhaps leave Adele out of it.

Adele & the crowd decided to watch & enjoy some of the match during the show! ⚽️🇫🇷 #AdeleLive2016 pic.twitter.com/t18Ovfp4rV

— Adele Now (@AdeleNowuk) June 10, 2016