Joan & The Giants Share 5 Ways to Survive a Breakup After Releasing The Five Stages of Grief

Fresh from releasing their deeply personal new EP The Five Stages of Grief, Perth indie-pop powerhouse Joan & The Giants are opening up about heartbreak, healing and moving forward. Written in the aftermath of frontwoman Gracie Newton-Wordsworth’s breakup with former guitarist Aaron Birch after nine years together, the EP explores love, loss and acceptance through raw, emotive storytelling. To mark the release, the band have shared with us five things that helped Gracie survive a tough breakup — from friendship and creativity to solo travel and self-care. If you’ve ever wondered how to get through heartbreak, Joan & The Giants’ list is a candid, uplifting guide that proves even in the darkest times, healing is possible.

Hello – since our EP is called ‘The Five Stages of Grief’ and was written during the most chaotic and sad breakup after ending a 9 year relationship; I thought I’d write a little list of things that helped me get through this incredibly difficult time.

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Friends, friends, friends.

My friends were truly life savers during this breakup. I don’t even know if I’d be here without them, as they answered every phone call, hung out when I needed it most, checked in on me, came over late at night to talk absolute shit and it helped in every way, shape and form possible.

I think if you’re going through a breakup, don’t be afraid to lean on your friendships.

You’d also be surprised who will come back into your life, even after a long time apart.

I was with my ex for over 9 years, and I know there would be many people out there who lean more on their partner, and step away from friendships. If you’re worried about reaching out, because you pulled away – it’s actually okay, because people do love you and they will be there for you – even if you think those friendships are strained or tainted, people will step back into your life if you let them in and reach out to them x

Get creative, try a new hobby

For me writing songs is very helpful, always tapping into my creative side.

I turn to music in dark times, which is why my songs tend to be so sad haha. Music has always felt like therapy to me, so I think leaning into something creative can really help.

One of my best friends is the queen of all crafts, and will make everything and anything which is really fun! I think during this breakup, I learnt that I don’t have to be good at something, I can just do it for fun and suck at it.

I am not good at painting or art, but it really helps to have something to do and draw or knit or bake! These things helped get me out of my head.

I learnt how to make a mean stir fry, and that recipe will live on forever.

Move in with strangers? Share house time?

For a while there, I was living with my ex during this breakup and that was so incredibly painful. We lived together for years, and I had never done the house share thing as I was with him since I was 18 years old. I was waiting for him to move out of our place, but eventually I got tired of waiting and found a share house on a Facebook rental page with three strangers who also happened to be musicians and seemed like good people.

I went for the ‘interview’, and they offered me the room. I took a leap of faith and decided to move in and it was the best decision I could ever have made for myself.

These three strangers became actual family to me, and we spent our nights playing board games, watching movies, going over every detail of our day. They were really there for me during some horrifically hard points of this breakup, and whilst I hate crying in front of people – they made me feel so safe to open up and share my big feelings.

This was the first point in my life where I truly felt safe.

It was like living in an episode of Friends every day. I think sometimes taking a leap of faith can be a really good thing, and I’m glad I did.

Solo traveling and moving cities

I went from doing everything with one person to being alone every day of my life.

It was a huge shock to step away from complete co-dependence to living this solo, independent existence.

Now it’s been quite a long time since the breakup, so being alone feels normal; I almost can’t imagine being with someone as much as I was.

Maybe I’m destined for a single life with 14 cats, who knows?

Solo traveling has become a new favourite obsession of mine. It doesn’t need to be something expensive either like going to Europe. It could be doing a little day trip to somewhere new, taking yourself for a meal or a coffee, exploring streets and bars on your own – it can feel super exciting.

Of course it can get lonely, but it also introduces new people into your life.

I recently moved to Melbourne a few months ago with my band, but I’m living with a house mate and have a very independent life. It’s been kind of amazing to be in a new city and step out of my comfort zone. I’ve made new friends, taken myself to gigs, bars, cafes.

I’ve walked every street of Fitzroy, and it’s good.

There’s a huge sense of freedom that comes with being single and being able to do whatever you want, whenever you want.

For now, I’m soaking it all in and seeing where this road takes me.

Self-care: Getting healthy mentally and physically

This section might seem cliche, but for a long time in my relationship I wasn’t looking after myself properly. I wasn’t eating well or exercising much and pursuing the self-care thing.

I have been an emotional eater, and that 9 year relationship wasn’t easy – so I definitely turned to food for comfort at many points.

Food has always been an issue for me, with a long history of eating disorders from childhood. During this breakup, I was determined to get healthy and figure out my brain. I started walking to Hyde Park a lot to read and soak in sunlight. I like going to fitness classes quite regularly and making myself home cooked, healthy, nutritious food.

This is not about encouraging weight loss at all, as it wasn’t about that for me. It was about nourishing my body, and learning to love myself (still a process).

Since moving to Melbourne, I’ve also fallen in love with pilates and walking the streets to soak in the graffiti stained buildings, old cathedrals and gardens in my area. I think I still have a lot of work to do around food and eating properly, but it’s a really beautiful thing to feel healthy and take care of myself.

I also love a bath – I encourage candles, baths and a hot choccie as much as possible.

I think taking care of your body, mind and health is the most important thing during a breakup, and during every stage of our lives.

Therapy is incredible, reaching out to friends, cooking a meal together – all of this is life changing.